....
Sorry... I can't work today :(

So recently, I felt completely pooped and without any
desire to work or even exercise. Was thinking real hard
of playing hooky from work since last week, as
I wish to take a day off just to chill =)

And out of boredom, I actually came up with some silly
weirdshit excuses that my boss probably would NEVER buy it....

My weirdshit excuses not in particular order:

1. Dear boss, I can't come to work today, reason is
I've such a bad diarrhoea that my house is running out
of toilet paper.

2. Dear boss, I can't come to work today, because my maid
stole my money and I am out looking for her!

3. Dear boss, I'm not going to work today because my
Facebook got a Virus and I think Facebook means
more to me than this job.

4. Dear boss, I really can't turn in for work today as I am still
very much constipated from the food my maid cooked me
last night.

5. Dear boss, I had a serious headache last night and I took my sister's
sleeping pills as painkillers? I couldn't wake up till now... 7pm

6. Dear boss, I knew you probably never believe this, but I really
got too busy with my work that I thought Friday is a Saturday,
and since Saturday is a weekend, I missed work.

7. Dear boss, I can't work today, because I left my purse in the
cab yesterday and with no spare keys, and my entire family
went holiday and will only be back after next week.

8. Dear boss, I can't come to work today because this really happen
to me while shaving my pubic hair, I accidentally cut myself and
am suffering extreme pain.

9. Dear boss, I won't be able to work today due to depression,
because I looked in the mirror and I saw Pimples. Arghhh...

10. Dear boss, I'm not going to work today, because I'll be stalking
my ex boyfriend who dumped me for an ugly bitch!

Ps: Seriously I can't see myself working tomorrow...