...
I face the inability to face myself

It's been a few weeks since that "Getting-Over-Someone"
and, just to make today seems a little brighter,
I went to cut my hair.

Getting over someone is never easy, and at the
same point of time, bear an uncanny resemblance
to the experience of being run over by a lorry.
Its like being run over by a lorry, while still conscious,
again and again and AGAIN.

And its never easy to ignore this spiritual death to
concentrate on my exam.

Yes, I m having my Law paper on next wed,
and though the fact that I've more or less moved
on from this game, but I just can't stop mentioningabout him.

Not because I enjoy reminding myself about his folly,
but...

One Friday a week ago, we met at the same usual party place,
with the same usual party group of friends, and...
I didn't managed to get close to him or talk to him,
and ya, why should I?

And ever since, when he's trying to prove the
"Its Over" by flirting with so many girls,
I've already given up everything and anything, andthe line
"Isn't it obvious, I am a player"....
has become a classic line in my heart.

And if that's the way he wants it, then so be it!
Anyway, it was also that night, I fully understood everything.

Two days ago, it was weird seeing him sitting down there
at the sofa.

I wanted to tell him ...............
"Aren't you party-ing with those girls? Or you gotta
know that I've already over you?
And so, the flirting show is Over....???"

I knew he'd probably ignored me and so....

If I had to say exactly what I missed about him
then maybe, I am blinded by love, or maybe I am
looking through my colour lenses of practicality,
as he destroys my hopes, my life and packs his bags
and leaves, dump me behind without any much
consideration, and I guess might as well cry on then,
since I am already blind....

And if I can see a future for us, while he can't,
then being blind is much better.

Sometimes, I don't deny the fact that I deeply
miss him for many reasons, and I wish he could
maybe give me a phone call or something...
but the reply.." Not tonight" is already clear enough!

To be honest, I am trying hard to feel better,
but maybe I am just a compulsive depresser,
who hurled back into the past, stuck in the
moment and started to cry.

Or I m just not the sorts of girl who smiles
and laughs all the time and forget about the past.

Whatsoever, I face the inability to face myself anymore.
4You

I think all you want to do is run away from me.

I hate you, when you pretending that you doesn't care.
I hate you, when you're actually looking at me,
but you're trying to hide. I hate you, when I date you
out but you've rejected me.. twice..

I am saying this because I m going to forget about you,
get rid of your smile, your evil eyes, your meanness,
your rudeness, your bitter voice, and most importantly
your presence.

Anyway you're just a lizard, and there’re
millions and zillions of men better than you!

And lastly, that someone who hurt you did a great job,
but it doesn't mean you got the right to hurt me or
any other girls!!!
The love of your life left you. It hurts, doesn’t it?...